I guess I just feel like weeping tonight. As the walls cave in and I get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I feel motion sickness for the soul.

 

I’m insecure, and downtrodden, precariously treading on ground that hasn’t ever even been trod before. Struggling with questions as i look at the face in the mirror, I’m riddled about what that face in the mirror represents, who he is, and where it is that he shall be going.

 

Those eyes, I don’t even know who i see in them. They tell me I’m a good man, a good person, a nice person, someone to know, a gentleman and a scholar, a good friend, a trusted ally, but I don’t understand these labels applied to me like medals, it’s like going through the horror of combat only to get this little pin of compliment or sincerity towards you as the compensation for overwhelming courage, bravery in the face of peril, self sacrifice, or even plain things like normality.

 

Those green eyes, looking from beyond at me, ashamed and proud, dissatisfied all the same. I don’t know why i feel this way, except to say that i am hoping this all blows over.

 

zeh gam yaavor, this too shall pass.

 

So as i look on into the mirror, tell me, who it is that you see. Anyways, i have to go back to my corporate job in the morning, and fuel the international machine of opression, greed and pyrmaid schemes that is gloalization.

 

So as I go, think of me fondly.

 

eli

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