Memories of Penultimate Autumn

Follow these footsteps, follow the sounds of this union

my eyes met yours

cold fingers traced the contours of our lives

this interaction,

words fall into place, laid down like cold tiles

fitting into this our dance

a liturgy composed in rituals, a broken smile graces a broken mirror

cold now, as these pills spread across this floor

tell my mother, tell her that these are the signs

watch me mother, as I grasp this bead, holding onto it for dear life,

speaks to me, this bead, speaks to me this prayer,

these weeping eyes grasp at you mother,

grasp at your outstretched hand, and hold onto your blessed comfort

take me into your hands, for you have never let another down,

your blessed devotion holds me, and I know that you have never let me fall

your prayers have held me mother, never have I been left unaided

so I ask, hear me, and look unto me kindly

into this endless night, I find rest, as snow lightly falls on my upturned cheeks,

looking for stars tonight, there’s only snow, there’s cold tonight,

my eyes like the day burn at both ends

This is what it means to be alive,

in our lives, we burn in brightness,

draw me out of this into life, into that life that is most truly lived, in the shadow of that skull

outside, this assembly, outside those moments and mementos, outside space and holy places, outside


in this outside, we find the sights, so let me burn

let me stand in burning, like a raging fire

let me burn…

watch me alight with fire, holocaust that does not consume

torrid, yet whole

hold fast, and watch closely

this is the end again, and the penultimate is destroyed in the process

given to me,

Mother, tell me your sweetest blessings and draw me unto you


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