Hail Holy Trinity

How could you possibly understand?

My frustrations are nothing, these moments passing by slip through your fingers like wishes ignored, and you have made me a contemptuous sight in your eyes. My weeping heart tears at my chest and my fists tear at my eyes, asking, “Are you still alive!?”

What response could I possible give to indulge the demands? This spirit, this moment, this endless serenade upon the shattered glass that are my broken dreams, and yet I don’t know what I’m complaining about. Drunken and intoxicated with defeat, with avarice and malice, I feel a thirst for my own blood, yet you comfort me. This child of yours beats his hand against his chest, heart pumping in bloodied hands, and this moment calls for a revolution from the inside.

mixed metaphors fit for a miser.

mixed metaphors mistaken for misery.

Trepidation.

Hail Holy Trinity.

I don’t even know what I mean to say anymore. I am a jumble of ideas, and i think I feel as though the crowd is truth. The winds sweeps through my hair catching my inner thoughts at the roots and makes me face annihilation.

The mirror, is there even a face there today at all?

I am calling out, calling my heart to life and watching it die in my hands, as the mirrors of others reflections embed themselves into this fragile organ, making imprecise incisions upon this weeping face. Messiah, Holy Father, Blessed Spirit, tell me, hold me, weep with me.

Can you, even you deliver me?

Audience…who needs them? I am not the blessed saint you wished me to be, but I want to try. I don’t know what to say. I’m hurting, and broken, I’m aching and all I can do to keep from destroying myself is to retreat into the hollow and sweet shadows, hiding my face behind pages of broken glass, and yet they’re all here, judging me in all my fullness. They don’t know that I’m all alone. Forgive them. I’m too sensitive. I’m just hoping I make it alive through this.

Blessed One, Father, intimate unto me your plan, and receive me into your Holy bosom, Your sacred heart, let its warmth animate my broken shell to new life. Commune with me and bring that reign that chains me to freedom. Out and reaching into the brokenness of others, teach me to love myself, teach me to love your loves.

I am willing, my life is yours, and all that I am is in your hands. Forget me not in my solemn hour of darkest temptation wherein I feel the necessity of failure set before me. Do you then believe that I can really do this?

Honestly I have my doubts. Sacred Father, teach me not to exert myself in the meditations of my mind alone, teach me to receive, to breathe deeply in faith.

Holy Christ, let your blessed touch restore me as with the women you restored, teach me your love and kindness, and as your fingers reach for my tears, let my heart reach for yours.

Those sacred tears which have wept for all the world and all times, let them be my comfort and shelter in my hour of need.

Holy Christ, may your presence guide me as a rod of direction and a light to my meandering steps out in the wilderness.

Such as you went into your exodus, let me go forth outside the camp into your exodus, and into faith.

Holy Spirit, be my mentor and my guide, my blessed reception into your love, and my only friend.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, I ask that you would entreat your Son in my behalf, holding me near to yourself as my mother and my blessed comforter in this hour of need. Holy Mary pray for me and my broken lanterns, for these wandering steps upon what seems a wasteland.

Holy Spirit gather unto me your sacred comfort and let me see in other faces the light of your love which brings life. I ask these things in all humility Father, as One who recognizes the greatness of your glory.

Lord have mercy, by your Son’s passion have mercy on me a sinner, Be that Father to me which I could never recognize without your presence

Jesus have Mercy on me, your disciple by your great passion which speaks to me of the life I shall lead, You who call to me to lay down my victory and take up this cross

Spirit have mercy on me, joining me to your sufferings and sacrifice in the world, teaching me to pray as you do, entreating in behalf of the world with tears and suffering as you do

Hail Holy Trinity, Lord of all, Redeemer, Creator, Counselor in All

You are my guidance in this hour of need and brokenness

Hail Holy Trinity

Be my comfort in suffering, this I ask in earnest

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5 thoughts on “Hail Holy Trinity

  1. Ah, dear friend, how wrenching, and how familiar this great cry is to me.

    Such intimate revealings of the heart deserve only my sacred silence in their presence, yet my heart goes out to you with great love.

    “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” Jesus knew. Do we sit at the foot of he cross and shout up, “Be still, and know that I am God?” I hope not!

    Surely if my heart, and the heart of anyone reading this, can respond, then the Great Heart can be no less compassionate and present.

    Great love to you, dear struggler! In your aloneness, you join hands with us all.

    Stee

    • Thanks Steven,

      I feel, alive, in this, through this. The suffering is not alien, nor is it undesirable. It is life, the power to participate in the redemption of this in and through love is what guides my hope.

      Great love to us all,

      eli

    • I’m glad for you. Understanding suffering is key, but then, I may be a bit, ahem, prejudiced on the importance of that particular point! LOL!

      Yes, great love to us all. There is an end to suffering and a way to that end, and you clearly see your Way in your dear, beloved Christ.

      Blessings,
      Steve

  2. Hey, Eli, my friend,

    Teach love, be love, live as an example. It’s all you’re asked to do, and it’s enough. Those with ears will listen.

    Take care,

    Nancy

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