The Experience of Fear and the Grace of a Kitchen

Day 2 of the Blogrimage

So, last night I was walking around an abandoned house again, same one, but at night. Night changes everything. I’m just gonna let the images speak for themselves, but it was a bit unnerving. Abandoned homes always give me the chills, especially when you hear noises and snaps that older homes make, but you’re suspicious someone else is there too.

here are some of last night’s pictures:

Tis is a lamp in the “abandoned house.” I guess I should rreally say it’s under construction and for some reason they have a fully working bathroom whose lights are left off at night. Strange times, but beggars can’t be choosers, and what little light there was was a relief. It’s not that I’m afraid of the dark, as much as of what’s hiding right outside my perception, potentially watching me. I was nervous because it’s a new experience for me, cavorting around in the night by myself with only a camera on my person. but it was wonderful.

My experience last night was matched by a moment of zen this afternoon. I slowed down and thought a great deal about life, and in that thought, as i was cooking everything became illuminated. In that moment, i was nothing, and the universe froze. I simply was, and it was beautiful.

Cooking can be a grace, the simple raw alchemy of putting together ingredients to satisfy your palate and your sense of accomplishment when successful. Making my cooking today a pilgrimage a sacred journey instead of just another thing to do had a profound impact on me, and i don’t think i will ever look at cookign the same way again.

Here’s a picture of lunch:

I call it italian lo mein. i only use the name lo mein because I mixed a bit of soy sauce into the sauce i used for my noodles. but it was a wonderful dish.

Then, as I was working on some other things, I stopped to check the mail, and lookie what I got:

a belated birthday present, from a dear dear friend. Someone who knows me all too well and knows that I love art, and icons. If you can’t tell it’s ceramic, with a detailed outline and it’s gorgeous. i love it.

But as I stop to pursue lived experience, I’m finding that life is worth living, and everything is beautiful. The pilgrimage of daily life is beginning to make everything spiritual. This is always a good thing.


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8 thoughts on “The Experience of Fear and the Grace of a Kitchen

  1. This post made me so happy, Eli! It’s good to hear that you’re finding that “everything is beautiful, and everything is spiritual, and life is worth living.” Sometimes I think that all one really has to do is take the time to open his or her eyes and look in order to see it (who’s that guy who said something like, “The kingdom of God is all around you, but you don’t see it?” 🙂 ). But for some reason that can be easier said than done.

    And your “lo mein” looks really yummy…Clearly you’re a man of many talents!

    Creepy-looking lamp, though…


    • I’m glad to be getting back to myself. Taking a pilgrimage towards everyday beauty has been truly beneficial. Nancy, you’re the best. ever. Period. (Steve, you too.)

      There’s beauty everywhere, and I’m trying to find it and let it speak to me, just like the kid in american beauty with the bag and the wind. haha.

    • thanks Pradeepan, I won’t. I was out tonight trying to get some more photos, couldn’t find anything of interest tonight, so it’ll have to wait.

  2. Wow, Eli, this post was great. Like seeing a whole other side of you—not that any of us are one-dimensional, but the human mind is so apt to oversimplify in order to keep track of everything.

    Loved the images and your meal.

    PS — I haven’t forgotten that “package” you left at my door…hope to take a look at it soon and give some feedback.

    With affection,

    • I’m glad you liked it. and yes, i tend to reuce myself even to a few dimensions in order to communicate certain things.

      don’t worry about the package, it’s ok. it needs work, i know that now. haha.

      thanks for reading

      all my love,

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